First day of orientation and tmr's the last. I'm hoping for the best and i'm damn tired now. Shall bath and sleep. Maybe read some chapters before sleeping, provided that i'm more awake after the shower....

I'm too sad/ tired to even lift my fingers up to type. It feels so heavy all of a sudden. That explains my mood today. Right now it's all the negative things passing through my head. All the 'what if'. omg! I can't even stand my own feelings. I might get emotional man, before my sleep. Lack of sleep=think too much. I hate myself for making myself feel this worse in my whole 16 plus life. I was thinking positively a while ago & now i'm too tired to fight mentally against my inner conflict.

Simple and short. Summarize most of my inner thoughts today.

Goodbye & wish me luck tmr.