i'm feeling super lost now. i don't know what's the next step.i don't know what to do.

i really wish that i have more time to study for O's even though it's impossible to have that now. dad's really afraid that i won't do well. He kept reminding me to study but my passion for studying isn't there. i want to do something else. something more contructive for myself. but isn't studies the first and foremost thing to lead you somewhere else in the future? if there's really a chance, i'll really go overseas to studies. Eventhough i may be relunctant to be away from my families, friends & my room, but still i hope i'm studying elsewhere. In my mind, the schools in other countries seem better. But in reality, i know Singapore is still consider as one of the best in the world. Somehow or anyhow i got to push myself real hard to study. crying over spilled milk is not a clever thing to do.

Today is the start of prelim. first paper was A maths. Went into the hall with a little of confidence but when i got up from my seat, my confident level had dropped to a bottomless pit. First paper & my confidence is gone. Seriously, i'm wondering what my prelim results will be. If there's improvement, I'll be glad. If i scored lower than mid-yrs, i really need help. PPL HELP ME! i really need someone to force me to study. my only motivation for now is that i'm going overseas the day after the last O's lvl paper and that i'm able to enjoy my holidays after the Os.

this stupid bug flu has been pestering me since last thurs. i hate this feeling. somehow or another, it'll get into my way when i'm studying. told mum i caught flu & cough but she doesn't look like she care. she nodded her head and didn't bother to get me medicine. ridiculous. argh!