16yrs of my life just flew by.. This past 3 and a half yrs were really an eye opener..
Walked passed my pri school today. On the outside, it looks quite the same, but when i had a peek on the inside, it changed... This statement applies on ppl so well.. Saw my pri school so called ''best friend'' today, his character changed so much.. I just can't believe it... I once had so much respect for him, but now, he disgusts me.. Argh.. He's so easily influenced by others..
Had been daydreaming about my past a lot lately..
When i was in kindergarden, all i knew was play. My white-haired grandparents were like angels sent down to earth from heaven. I lived with them, at the north of singapore, n they took care of all my needs, yet i took it for granted. ''they are supposed to take care of me''... How naive i was.
A few yrs later, i'm a pri school student who lived with my parents at the central of singapore. I idolised my school teacher. I mean, who doesn't? They are bigger, stronger, faster n smarter than any of us, better than us in all aspects. Once every week, i visited my grandparents. They became feeble but i became stronger. They always asked the same old questions, ''how are u, how is your examination?''.. I got used to it but i failed to realise that this was an act of concern.
13 yrs old. New friends, new school, new cca n new teachers. I have enjoyed being in my cca. I was committed to it, despite the shit we went went through. Y? My squadmates that's y.. No matter the prob, we could laugh our way through it. shouldn't life be that way? As i hit 15yrs old, my mind became active, i started to ask ''why?''. My grandfather passed away during my mid year examination last year. I could remember it so clearly. It was after my mother tongue paper. I picked up n hp n read my msg. It was from my dad, he nvr msgs me. '' grandfather passed away'', it wrote. My first impression was, '' was it a very late april fool joke?''.. The funeral lasted from that fri to that sunday. I couldn't study for my next paper, how could i? One of my ''angels'' laid down there, motionless. The skin was pale n the lips was dry. If only my tears could wet them n bring him back so that i could just say ''thank you'' to him. If only i had treasured the time. It broke my heart to see my grandmother crying her eyes out. I had nvr seen her like this before...
The image i have of teachers started to change. I came to realise human's limitations. Males' n females' difference are clearly drawn,teachers' weaknesses are clearly seen n each n everyone's talent is unique. Everyone has their weaknesses, even teachers do.
I came to realise that everyone has different character. Those that get along stay together n those that don't get left out. As such, some ppl force themselves to change their character just to fit in while those who don't will be seen as anti-social. Lol. Ppl change, our environment change, they change for the better. Ppl change to fit their environment while the environment change to fit the ppl. Hah,what a joke. Does being better means that it is better? I don't think so. That's y i am like this n i will become who i think is the best possible person. I made big mistakes, but i will not change my mind. I did the mistakes n i shall face the consequence.
My mind is in a blur right now. My thoughts are all messed up. I need a goal, i need motivation.
I have been using here to pour out all my nonsense. If anyone see this n thought that i'm having depression, I'M NOT. It's just one of those time when u laid back n really think abt things. It's fun. Haha. Hehe. Hoho. Wa. I'm. Bored. And. Hungry. THE. NIGHT. IS. YOUNR. Haha. Lack of glucose.
Gratitude.
Copied & paste from my bro's blog. His post made me want to cry especially when I read till the bolded words...
I'm proud to say 'I've the best bro!'
